Randumb Revisitations.

A lot has changed in the last year-and-a-half since I last wrote in this blog. I moved to Germany, and then I moved to Toronto, Canada. I started--and finished--my dissertation research for my PhD. And then I started writing that dissertation. Oh, also, I got engaged to The Fiancee. And Downton Abbey produced a third season... So many changes!

Among the most important of these changes are the distances in both time and space our Lord has mercifully placed between me and that feline Specimen aka Bovine-Butt aka Lucy(fer).

But, on that note, I will tell you one thing that hasn't changed--not for all the miles and months in the world. And that is that she still haunts me. I wake up sometimes at night, and she is there, just as she used to be: one entire pawed arm stretched lazily underneath my dead-bolted bedroom door in her fatty catty sleep, so as to more easily claw the soles of my feet to the point of bleeding as soon as I take my first step upon awakening in the morning. I plug my ears and I still hear her--not just her meows, mind you, but her plodding and pacing and plumping her catty fatty paws all over the ground. I pinch my nose and I still smell her... [Editor's note: material has been censored from this blog post.]

The Lucy apparitions became too much to bear, especially since at times she appeared in my blind-spot (review: Lucy is quite large.) And I found it necessary, for my own sanity and the sanity of those around me, to once again seek out help from the Reluctant [Former] Roomate of Cat Owner Whisperer.

At first, the RRCO Whisperer seemed to think these visitations were outside of her expertise.

"From what you are telling me," she commented, "it seems you are being visited by a large species of cow--I'm guessing a holstein, perhaps even a bull. But I only work with troubled cats and their owners."

So I had to explain some issues that Lucy has with her size. And why her visitations are so problematic, especially while driving. The RRCO agreed to continue our therapy sessions, even though the bovine-like tendencies of Lucy mean she is on the fringes of her certification.

"Well, one thing I can say right off the bat," the RRCO Whisperer told me seriously. "You need to be writing about this stuff. For thereapeutic reasons. You need to be getting this off your chest. Processing."

"But I already did that for a while," I told her. "I had a blog and everything. I stopped when I moved away from Lucy, because I thought my troubles with her were over and the blog had served its purpose."

The RRCO Whisperer stared at me for a long time, and removed her glasses in a very astute manner.

"My child, then you must return to that blog. Return with all your heart. Put your sorrow, fear, disgust and general taxonomical confusion as to Lucy's cat-cow status into words. And only then, then shall you experience healing once again."

So, that is why, after a long hiatus and many life changes, Randumb Acts of Lucy is back.